Wednesday, September 2, 2009


This 4 magic words can help you to support the person that need you when they are in trouble or they seek for your attention. "It's not your fault". When a woman is expressing her upset feelings she can support a man by pausing occasionally to encourage him by saying, "I really appreciate your listening, and if this sounds as if I'm saying it's your fault, that's not what I mean. It's not your fault."

Just the other day my friend called me and talked about difficult experience that she was going thru with her bf. As I listened I kept remembering that to support my friend, I didn't have to give her any solutions. She needed someone just to listen. After a while of just listening and occasionally saying things like, "oh yeke", "oh", she then said, " thank you kak." I feel so much better". Simple. But if you don't feel like listening to your friends prob might as well you tell her/him your bz or watever reason cuz at the end of conversation you will feel like blaming her/him for telling you something that unnecessary.

Now we look at what is the art of listening. I am not teaching you comm. subject but this is things that we should know. As a man learns to listen and interpret a woman's feelings correctly, comm becomes easier. This art requires practice. Although listening is an important skill to practice, some days a man is too sensitive or stressed to translate the intended meaning of her phrases. At such times he should not even attempt to listen. Instead he could kindly say, "This isn't good time for me. Let's talk later". Dun leave her just like that.

When misunderstandings arise, remember that we speak different languages, take the time necesssary to translate what your partner really means or wants to say. This is definitely takes practice, but it is well worth it.

If you have these kind of thoughts:
" Ni bkn mslh aku, knp lah ak kena dgr"
" Dia ni x abis2 cari aku, da xde org lain ke"

Yeah, you might feel he/she really bug you and never let you breathing. But you never know, one day you might be in their shoes. Think. How was the feelings of making someone happy and he/she happy bcuz of you? Don't be so stingy in giving people part of your kindness bcuz you will get back in return. ;)

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